Thursday, March 07, 2013

"I Come to Mock Paul of Farce-Us, Not to Praise Him."

Yesterday, this happened.

Some second generation southern conservative jackwagon captivated the chattering class for over half a day by filibustering a presidential cabinet nominee about hypothetical drone strikes on domestic soil. This, in turn, led to all sorts of pompous huzzahs, Fake Harlem Shake reenactments, ceremonial releasing of doves, exchanging of fruit baskets, Emo-progressive swooning by lefty political junkies so inspired by the display they christened him "Sir Jack of Wagon, Invincible Hero of the Emo Realm." This decree led to endless sarcasm, brutal mockery and angry scorn heaped upon the heads of Citizens of the Emo Realm by other, more practical progressives who felt the words of a man who desires to disenfranchise 2/3s of a nation's citizens deserve a more cautious, wary response than the one being offered by those who seemed more interested in political theater than political realities. Glibertarian hate-trolling exploded, leading to much wielding of Thine Holy Banhammer® on Twitter. Finally, after generating much praise from the serious and principled folk on the left and the right for his 12 hour dog and pony show, Brave, Brave Sir Wagon was forced to bid his fair subjects adieu when his bladder was about to explode. (ALAS, WILST NO ONE FETCHETH OUR HERO YON PICKLE JAR WHEREWITH TO DISPENSE OF HIS BLESSED ONES AND TWOS??? WHY DOTH THINE KIDNEYS BETRAYETH THEE, SIRE? DOTH THEY TOO HATETH OUR FREEDOMS, MILAWD???? USA! USA! Insert giant foam finger here.) And then, in less time than it took for him to stand on the senate floor and filibuster over his principled position on domestic drone strikes, he reneged on that very position on what will henceforth be christened The Caucasian News Network.

 Confusing as hell, you say? Well, there's good news! I wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Well, here it goes.

Rand! (Sung to the tune of "Stand!" by Sly and the Family Stone)

In the end, its all about you
Yet Emos will still love anything you do

There's a cross for you to bear
aflame in black folks yards till they're out your hair

Fight for things you know are right
Who cares if gays and women put up a fight?

All your conspiracy theories are real
You've Dad's work to complete cuz he knew the deal

Rand, Rand, Rand! (Every Emo Say it yeah)
Rand, Rand, Rand!

You've been simmering much too long
Equal rights on the rise, and you know that's wrong

There's a nation standing tall
White male privilege, endangered and 'bout to fall

Rand, Rand, Rand!
Rand, Rand, Rand!

On the fringes true Patriots crawl
Mobilized and awaiting your marching call

Don't you know you can't be free
Till you take everyone else's liberty?

Rand, Rand!


Rand! (Distorted, maniacal laugh) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
(Repeat until the imaginary domestic drone strikes hit, or, until your socialist/dictatorial kidneys scream for blessed release)

Thursday, October 04, 2012

The 2012 Presidential Debate: "Its The Lying, Stupid."

First things first.

If you were expecting a combative, in-your-face debate? Obama did not do well. 

There were too many opportunities missed, too much of an attempt to be reserved and polite, too many words and too much explaining when he could have been hitting ample soft targets. I thought the president was a bit taken aback at first; not so much by Romney's volume of lies, I'm sure he expected that. I would actually say President Obama might have been more stunned by Jim Lehrer's sudden morphing into a replacement-ref style moderator than the great debate moderator he's been in the past. Lehrer was definitely intimidated into ineffectiveness by Romney's filibustering, non-stop lying and refusal to respect the format. In my view, if a guy walks into your workplace and says he's gonna fire you as soon as he's elected - not only that, you can take Big Bird wit cha, let the door knob hit cha where the Good Lord split cha - the last thing you do is let that guy have all the time he wants while constantly trying to stop the guy who wants to help you keep your job. My summary of Obama's performance would be this: tried to take the fight to Romney early on with the $5 trillion tax cuts Romney promises in his stump speeches, Romney denies it. Revisited same $5 trillion promises again, Romney denies a second time. Expected some type of moderation from Lehrer, who began to evaporate early on and never regained control of the debate. Once it was decided Romney had no intention of taking any of the stances he had before the debate I suspect President Obama decided it was best to pull back, speak to inform the undecided viewers and look for opportunities to draw out more policy contradictions from Romney later.  It was not the aggressive style I had hoped for, but in my view the president managed to get plenty of Romney position reversals on record by the end of the 90 minutes. President Obama also did a pretty good job of getting Romney to admit he supports big oil subsidies, turning Medicare into Vouchercare, and - contradictory to what the GOP has been claiming since the day Obama took office - admitted the president inherited a bad economy from his predecessor. 

Visually, the whole thing sucked if you were an Obama supporter. The president didn't earn any style points, but I feel he offered plenty of substance to the independent and undecided voters. There were plenty of heads a-splodin' on MSNBC, but the Rev Al Sharpton's comments immediately after the debate ended brings me to my view of the performance of President Obama's opponent.

What we also saw in the first debate was a Romney campaign more determined to win a 24 hour news cycle than a 33 day presidential marathon. The pre-debate conventional wisdom stated Mitt Romney needed to do two things: 1) come off as more likeable than he has in the past and 2) provide more specifics. The GOP shills promised he'd do both of these things, but he didn't. Instead, he validated every perception held about him as the bullying lying shape-shifter who feels he doesn't have to play by the same rules as everyone else. His analogy comparing the president to one of his 5 sons combined with his belligerent lecturing of the president was dog whistling to the worst in American society. He promised to fire the moderator and Big Bird of Sesame Street if elected, reminding everyone of the soulless businessman who made employees feel like they'd erected their own gallows when they were ordered to build a stage that Romney used to announce their termination because their jobs were about to be shipped overseas. Worse yet, the sheer volume of video footage generated in 90 minutes will be replayed endlessly over the last 30 days of the campaign.

Mitt Romney bet his $10,000 on performance art that would remake his campaign in the eyes of the chattering class of the Washington, D.C. beltway and its clear he won that bet quite easily. Unfortunately for Team Romney, the discussion of the candidate's glaring lack of specifics, his absence of empathy and inability to stick with one policy position will last long after the initial spin about his great win subsides. 

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Obama 'nem ain't playin' with you, Mitt.

Yesterday, while commenting at PragObots, I said this:

Mitt thinks he can play the dozens with a brother who cut his organizing teeth in Altgeld gardens and married a sister from the hood.
I'm tellin' y'all, he brought a down pillow to a gun fight.
I followed that up in the same thread with this:
They are scurred, ma.
Even Mitt's own party is starting to pressure him into releasing his returns. The poor Black Republicans like Nia Malika can't help but show up on TV with creased foreheads and bustdown bedhead because they ain't slept well since the first day that Uppity Socialist Kenyan Negro in the Oval Office who shot bin Laden in the face went and dared upset Massa Thurston Romney III. Now, the Romney camp's got an entire weekend ahead of looking over their shoulder waiting for President Obama to throw his next haymaker straight to the fat part of Mitt's shiny animatronic dome. They're too outclassed to know what to expect next, but we all know its comin'.
So just chill....until the next episode.
Today, OFA released this:

Down pillow to a gun fight, indeed.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

I'm not a Kenyan, I just crush a lot

Remember this interview with then-candidate Obama from the 2008 primary race? Apparently Mitt Romney doesn't:


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Next on BBC1, its "Mitty Python's Failing Circus"

I cannot believe y'all made me watch this shit. On the other hand, the Hammond B3 play-off as RoboCrock 3.0 walks off stage makes me suspect the NAACP was trolling him. They really should have cut to the guy on the organ to see if he was butt naked or not. No time to comment more, so just watch:


Saturday, October 22, 2011

If you're Still Wondering Why #OWS Is Protesting, Watch This

Now, I still have my concerns about the end game and I feel certain "spokespeople" Like Michael Moore and Cornel West are more in it to promote themselves than they are to promote solutions to the ills of this country, but this vid from does a great job of messaging for the movement and I recommend it to all who are  still wondering what all the commotion is about.

FYI: DC Douglas is the handle of the guy who used to do voiceover work for Geico, but was fired after upsetting the Tea Party by leaving an inflammatory voice message to Freedomworks.

My kinda guy.